Losing a Limb!

Losing a Limb!

‘So Mr. Henry! Did you think about it?’

Mr henry: Let me ask you something! Are we playing beauty and the beast here…’ Wait, let me get this right, I am the beauty here and you all are the beasts.

You all might be good to me but I am scared of you all. I don’t think, I am ready for it yet. Maybe I will get a heart attack before I get to that…’
Mr. Henry is an old man who has lived his life the way he wanted. He has multiple co-morbidities including immunodeficiency, Diabetes, peripheral artery disease, and many more problems. He has recently been struggling with one of his legs which is dying, and before it spreads further, the leg needs to be amputated.

When I first met Mr. Henry, he appeared to be a difficult patient, who barely answered the questions, didn’t agree to the tests and management, and was offensive and angry all the time. We had multiple specialties working on him to plan the best treatment modality for him. Unfortunately, the best solution that we came up with horrified Mr. Henry. We gave him the solution to get rid of his leg and he gave us ‘No’ as an answer.

When I went back to see him again, I found a little child within him. He pointed out his feet as if it was his baby. He gently touched his feet and said, ‘It has a little rough skin around it and feels very cold. Can you give me cream and a soft blanket to cover it? Maybe it will get better with care.
Can anyone here clean up my feet and remove the dead skin. Then my feet will look good.’ As he was speaking, I saw his scared eyes brimming with water.
I was quiet. So was he. After a momentary pause… he said, ‘That won’t help, right? … Maybe, my failing heart will die before my leg dies. Maybe my leg won’t die… Can I come back if it worsens? will you still take care of it?’
I nodded at him with a smile, patted his back, and came out of the room.

Just before coming out of the room, I noticed that Mr. Henry had a new pair of shoes lying next to his bed, which were stealing his attention while he was talking … he probably wanted to dance with his daughter at her wedding, wearing these shoes. The poor old man was struggling with keeping himself and his leg alive.

I recently bought a pair of beautiful shoes for myself and had been waiting to put on them the next time I went out. What if…I don’t even want to say it!

We always judge people by their behavior but we often forget to realize the situation they are in and the forces that are driving their behavior. Everybody including me was frustrated with Mr. Henry for his offensive demeanor and non-compliant and uncooperative attitude. I was unable to understand Mr. Henry until I put my own feet in his shoes. Maybe I would have been the same if I was him. Maybe I would be terrorized too. Maybe I would be double-minded too. Maybe I would have returned from the OR too.

My mentor always used to tell his diabetic patients, every part of the body is important, so take good care of it. You lose a toe and you will realize how important it was for you… I just realized the depth of it.

Whatever may have been, I know for sure that I would have needed warmth and patience from my caretakers. He deserved a patient ear and a smile, like any other patient………and that’s what I gave my beautiful patient through my beastly appearance of a doctor …
‘Wish you well, Mr henry’.

(Disclaimer: The name and facts have been modified in the story.)

-Jaya Sonkar MD MPH
©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2017