An Ode to My Brother

Happy birthday bhaiya!

In the heavens of greatest minds
May your pious and kind soul find
Eternal happiness, joy and mirth
Beyond the best found on this earth

I close my eyes and see you smile
I close my ears and hear you whisper
I feel the love you send for us
The strength that you send from up above
Your presence is so much felt here
By flashes of the good times that we shared

Just yesterday, as I was playing mandolin
I remembered when I stealthily played your synthesizer
Your birthday gift that you were very fond of,
When you saw me, you gave it to me with love
Encouraged me to play it more and more
And made me feel how proud you were
To see you little sister getting better

I remember when I was playing with your brand new bike
Jumping on it, moving it from side to side
And there it fell with its rear view broken
Filling my eyes with tear and terror
I knew I was going to be punished
And there I lied beneath it sulking
And then you came out from within
Lifted the bike, wiped the tear on my skin
And carried little me in your arms
Soothed me and calmed me and gave me warmth
And gently said, ‘ Why are you crying’ Is it hurting that bad?
I was quiet and happy to see you sound
While your new bike still lied broken on the ground

I remember my first day in school
When at lunch time you came to see me
And took me to the canteen, bought me goodies
See me eat my lunch and carry the cookies
I felt so safe, so protected and cared

I remember you once got angry at me
When you saw little me being scared by the bullies
They snatched my things and left me crying
You taught me the most important lesson that day
How to be brave, strong and safe

I remember when I didn’t study for my test
And came to you with my physics book
The book was as new as the day it was bought
You scolded me, then smiled, then gave it a thought
You pointed your fingers at the book
And asked me to read and speak what I understood
You taught me to spot the high yield
And helped me help myself in the field
Your IQ of 160 plus was such a thrill
Amazing and unique were your teaching skills
Dear Bhaiya, that test was the best
I scored in my class, highest

The day you left us and went to the heaven
We were so sad, and so shaken
To not have you around brought so much grief
We lost our minds, soul and sleep

As time went by, the pain just grew
It’s been 10 years, yet it feels so new
How is it there, is it white and bright
Do you have days and do you have nights
Do you have new friends or new sisters there
Who tie Rakhi and say the prayer
Do you see parents and visit them when sad
Do you send your love to mom and dad
Do you scatter energy when we are low
Do you give us strength when we miss you
Can you see us from up above
Can you come near us!

Alas!…We pray!
May God give you the best of the best
May your soul be blessed with peace and rest
May all the fortune come your way
May all your dreams get fulfilled always

Some strange feelings come to us
The strange feeling that we easily trust
That you are happy and content
That you have progressed in your journey ahead
That beautiful life awaits you
That God of the universe is blessing you
That happiness of the world is at your feet
That your heart is full of love and peace
That you still come to us when we need
And touch our hearts with your smile, kind and sweet
We somehow know for sure, it is you
Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!

-Dr. Jaya Sonkar
6/09/12
(In memory of my brother, birthday June 17th)
©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2012