Meet People Where They Are!
Meet People Where They Are!
As I was enjoying listening to the wise men and women at the Annual Geriatric Conference, something penetrated deep into my mind.
It was the phrase, ‘We meet people where they are.’ It was said in the context of a research grant where it was advised to link the value of the research to the values that the donor had. But the context was not exclusive. This applies universally! The best way to engage with children is to be like them and meet them where they are.
A few months ago, I met a very sweet and homely woman in the park who brought her children to the park to play. We looked at each other and smiled. We greeted each other and introduced our kids to each other. Her warm demeanor made me feel very comfortable.
I am a quiet person and generally don’t have much to talk about if it is not medicine or work-related. Fortunately for me, she was a great communicator and had an enormous treasure of things to tell. She spoke and I listened. I enjoyed listening to her speak about different foods, recipes, different clothes, tailoring techniques, and community parties. She was very kind to invite me to the various religious and community events which I would have loved to attend if my schedule permitted.
Initiating and facilitating conversations that are engaging can be challenging. Meeting people where they are and linking your ideas to their interests may be easier. I found myself being good at that. I enjoy food, appreciate fine clothing and of course, am all ears when it comes to parenting techniques. I could relate to the things that she talked and we had a long engaging conversation and became good friends.
I had several other such experiences in the past. They all started coming to me one by one. Along with the pleasant memories, some unpleasant interactions struck my mind too.
Coming from an emotional background, care, and affection is embedded in my DNA. And that is how I look at things. I was able to get along with people who were sensitive to other people’s emotions but wasn’t very comfortable with the ones who weren’t. In life, we have to interact with all sorts of people. And every personality has value. They all play a role in making the survival of humans possible.
To be able to come to terms with people, we need to understand their deep values and talk to them in terms of those values. Just like the wise researcher said, to submit a grant for a cause that is aimed at improving well-being among people, it should also be tied to expected favorable and cost-effective outcomes for the people. This will not only promote understanding among each other but will also lead to a collaborative approach in making a positive difference.
In summary, whether it is to get anybody’s buy-in for any cause or it is to make a pleasant conversation with someone, we need to find where they live and then we go there and we meet them where they are. And some of them may come to you and meet you where you are!
Jaya Sonkar M.D., M.P.H.
5/29/19
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