My Heart Is Beating!
My heart is beating!!!
Me: Hi Mr. Jackson, how are you feeling?
Mr. Jackson: I am fine. ( In a feeble voice)
Mr. Jackson was waiting in the holding for his CABG ( Coronary artery bypass graft).
He was very anxious and scared but was facing it with a brave heart.
(One of the perks of rotating with Anesthesiology is while I get to learn about wonderful anesthetics and life-saving ventilation techniques, I also get to watch the great surgeries which are often not feasible with other rotations.)
Speaking of Braveheart, I recently watched the sacrifice scene from the movie Apocalypto, during my recent visit to historical places like Uxmal, Chichen Itza, Tulum, and many more in Mexico. I felt so queasy after watching the butcher cut through the victim’s chest, pull out the heart, and squeeze it, followed by many more cruel acts.
Learning about the ancient Mayan history and human sacrifices over and over again from every guide at every tourist spot was making me sick to my stomach and I was unable to enjoy the scenes because my over-imaginative mind was visualizing the scenes, as they were being described.
Surprisingly, when I saw Mr. Jackson’s chest being cut open, his heart being emptied into the machines, and then paralyzed, it didn’t bother me at all. I kept watching the whole surgery in awe, without any hesitation. I knew that the expert surgeon with amazing finesse in his hands, a real Braveheart, was saving Mr. Jackson’s life. Indeed, in my eyes, the surgeon was the superhero.
It was a similar beating heart, similar goriness but one was taking a life and the other was giving a life. Both the butcher ( a villain in my eyes) and the Braveheart surgeon ( a superhero in my eyes) were courageous enough to cut open someone’s chest but one was ruthless and the other was very careful and protective.
The same courage and power which could take someone’s life, when positive could prolong someone’s life.
I feel so thankful to be born in an era where morals and ethics are so much valued. Where strong and powerful people assure the safety of the individuals. It’s a pity that we still have some people who like terrorizing other people. The recent blast at the Port Authority was very disturbing, more so because my spouse gets off at Port Authority every day around that time for his office commute. Thankfully, when the blast happened, we were in Mexico for vacation. However, even the thoughts give me goosebumps.
History is very important. Especially when it is a sad one. So that, we can make sure, it never gets repeated. So that, we can understand the pain associated with the destruction caused by wars, nuclear attacks, massacres, bomb blasts, air crashes, or unpleasant rituals and can make sure that it never gets repeated.
I wish that kindness could be instilled into every beating heart. Empathy and love could be transfused into everyone’s veins. And, the perspective could be implanted in everyone’s body.
It would be so wonderful if every heart that beats, beats for beating the cruelty and inculcating love.
My heart is beating!!!
Jaya Sonkar MD, MPH
©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2017